By Morgan Petit-Homme
Your story was my epiphany.
Everyday this week and last week I had been riddled with guilt and shame. I went into a deep dark hole of depression. I kept questioning the purpose of Life. In general, I don’t feel like I am a very successful person. Consequently, I feel like I constantly disappoint the people I love. Which leads to me feeling even more disappointed in myself. Which then causes me to feel like I am completely worthless.
So then I ask myself these two questions on repeat: “Why do I even matter?” and “Why am I even alive?”.
Something outsiders will tell individuals who suffer with anxiety and depression, is to practice gratitude. Put simply, “be thankful you woke up this morning” or “every day is a new beginning”.
But what I realized is that the best way (for me) to fight this hopelessness and despair, is to find the thing in this temporal realm that helps other people move through their trauma.
I believe our purpose is to share what we have experienced.
We should share with others so that they might be so lucky as to avoid the same mistakes we have made, or maybe find strength in a shared experience, and/or to be more connected to our fellow (wo)man.
Your story was a very powerful display of the human condition. Part of which is the denial of trauma, the desire to be acknowledged based on merit or simply for who God created us to be (not looks, politics, or sexuality), and how courageous it is to stand in your truth even when it feels like you’re standing alone.
That day, I was also confronted with the reality that I am judgmental.
I had based feelings about someone and their character on what the people around me spout, on merely perception, not facts. I was repentant of the way I failed to recognize that we are all created by God, in His image; complex beings, facing and fighting our own internal battles.
I failed to recognize the ways in which I was connected to people I had learned to despise.
I failed my sister in Christ. I failed my sister in experience.
I’m sorry I didn’t see you. I’m sorry I didn’t hear you. And I am so sorry for the horrible things we both have had to endure.
Thank you for sharing your truth. All my love and light to you and your family.
Author: Morgan Petit-Homme
Morgan has always had a compassionate heart, concerned with combating the injustices that many people face in this world. Morgan is passionate about seeing people educated and providing opportunities and spaces for open and honest dialogue.